brittany might not even understand it, but i know that people like sarah do. i got bored of softball, of soccer, of track .. of all of the sports i’ve played. rugby just clicked for me. the only game i’ve never started in was my first ever. i don’t say that out of cockiness, i say that with pride. rugby is a sport i’ve always been really passionate about, that i’ve put before everything else. it just makes me happy.

i’m at the point right now that if another girl from the team texts me and asks why i left tonight, i’ll punch them in the face. especially if you’re going to give me an attitude. shove it. i don’t care if you think i’m being irrational or over dramatic - i quit my fulltime job fall season to play, which lead to me moving out of my own apartment and sacrificing every other thing i took pride in. during the last week, while putting that stupid fucking list before everything else, i find out my mom has cancer. that stupid “rookie day” you gave me permission to leave to speed for 2 hours to my girlfriends 1,000 college career basketball point, and you couldn’t answer your fucking phone when i needed to leave and i missed it.

and for all of that, for you to talk down to me for not only the rest of fall semester, but the beginning of spring semester too? i thought we were all over this, i thought it was finished? tonight just wasn’t the night for me. before the “hangout” that it was supposed to be my captain tells me “well, maybe this isn’t the team for you” as i’m explaining that some people were concerned with what the night entails. i’m sorry you and your girlfriend have issues, don’t fucking take it out on me.

i will never be afraid to speak my mind. i don’t care who you are. yes, i am a senior and yes you are a sophomore .. just because you were on the team before me and you’re a “vet” does not entitle you to respect from me. you will be respected once you respect me. end of story, i don’t give a shit about “tradition”.

75% of you started playing rugby once you were in college, therefore, take it from someone who’s been playing for much longer : rugby is not about hazing, it’s not about vets talking down to rookies, it’s not about being better than one another. in fact, that’s the exact OPPOSITE of rugby. so talk to me when you know what the fuck you’re doing.